There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
