So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Randomize
