So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
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