drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
