Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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