And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
