I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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