Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Randomize
