Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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