we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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