TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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