I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
