dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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