I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
