I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
