once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
