Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Randomize