Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
i think my cat just said my name.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
