so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
