good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
