You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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