The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
she peed on how many people?
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Everyone says I win the strip club
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
