And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
