that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Randomize
