yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
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