The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
she told me i tasted like america
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
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