I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize