Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
