You're my little dorito
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Acid is not a monday night drug
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
