You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
