There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I love having hate sex.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
