I wish I could teleport
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I love you. Go after that dick
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
