In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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