Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
