who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
