i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Randomize
