Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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