I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
