we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
