Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Randomize
