It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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