I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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