also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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