she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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