Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
