so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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