just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
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