You're completely useless in the revolution.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
