I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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