did you get engaged???
thus making me awesome and them whores
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I touched a dick in church today
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
