what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
