Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
