I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
