Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
