I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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