The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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