Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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