There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
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