why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
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